I have so much to praise the Lord for. I was baptised and received the Holy Spirit when I was 11 years old. In 2007 I suffered from severe depression. So many lies were put into my head- That I was worthless and that everybody just wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. At first, I rejected these thoughts that popped into my head, but then after a while I kept the thoughts, took them in and started believing them. My confidence was shattered, and I lost my passion for the Lord, I knew that I had a problem but I was in denial of letting other people know that... In April I was doing a hospitality course at Seaworld Nara. I was sitting on my bed one night doing my assignment when two "friends" walked in and started having a go at me, they told me everything that was wrong with me, and that everyone at school and everyone doing the course hated me. A sudden rush of anger came upon up on me. It really was like an instant spiritual battle happening right there and then, I felt like that something wanted me to die that night. The hotel I was staying at was about 6 storys high, I was on the 4th story about to jump, at my lowest peak, I heard a voice in my head saying "I love you" then a flash of my friend's and family's faces when they got the news that I was dead. It would of been the most selfish thing that I could have done to everyone, I got down and went down to the other girls (not the same ones that were having a go at me). They made me feel better by telling me that I was worth everything. I was still hurting myself, but a certain someone reminded me that I was worth so much more than that and that person told me to take all of my problems out on a canvas, and not myself. After a year of the same hurt that art simply could not take away, I realised that I simply was not safe because it felt like I was on a treadmill that kept on going faster and faster and the music that I was was listening to was dark and arrogant, that real deep heavy stuff. People told me that it was heavy metal that would solve my hurt and my anger, but they were so wrong! It only fed my hurt and anger. A year past and in April 2008 at  Perserverance camp, I cried out to the Lord, I couldnt take it anymore.  My brothers and I prayed for an hour and a half that night, before we wrapped up the prayer that night, I felt this heavy thing get pulled out of me, and my inner peace came flooding back to me. I broke down on my knees because it was gone, simply gone, and it never came back. I know that the Lord is always with me and never forsakes me and that it was I who had walked away from Him. I know that by continuing to walk in His ways my life will be blessed.
Talisha